this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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