I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
