we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
