I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
