She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
