I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
