3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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