just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
