Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
