i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize