i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
