where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
