Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
