apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
smell my finger.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
