1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You work out of a Hotel?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
