And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
