I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
