Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
