any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
