ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
