Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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