im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
