she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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