Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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