so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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