I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize