I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize