i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
