I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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