He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i believe in u and ur pee
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
