Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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