I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
