Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize