he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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