My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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