on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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