There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
