Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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