You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
