i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
