first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
