He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
