My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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