cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
