Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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