i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
