that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.