What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
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That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.