I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
