barbara walters just said penis...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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