You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.