There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.