he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I think pants incapable of making pants work
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
