if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
