Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
