I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
