Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
