I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
