I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
