He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
