Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
