I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
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Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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