last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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