im drinking this country out of the recession.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
