Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize