Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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