Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
