Reggie can tackle my bush.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
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Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
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At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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