nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
