What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
