I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
