im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
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Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
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I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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