she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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