Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
