I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
